Beauty, a Gift and Responsibility…but Sometimes Awkward….

  Who would consider an attractive person an outlier. Many people who don’t feel attractive think only if I was attractive life would fall into place. It does have it’s advantages but all the attention comes with a great number of different responses which are not all good  so even good gifts come with complications. Attractive people stand out and sometimes people stand back and gawk at them without interacting with them. One would think it is complimentary but many times it is creepy and not everyone has good intentions. There are those who know how to handle the attention, instinctively or they have been taught. This is not always the case and it can create situations with a lot of trauma and drama.


But there is a plan why you have been given the gift of beauty and it is good to have someone watch over you that has your best interest at heart.

This subject reminds me of Esther in the Bible in the Book of Esther who was an orphan and very beautiful. God had a very special plan for her life and it started with her standing out because of her beauty. She did what she needed to do but initially it was not what she wanted her life.  As you read her story you see a resistive woman who had other ideas but as things unfolded around her, she was called into action which required faith and risk taking. Her character and faith in God created a life of purpose for her not just her looks. Her beauty was a piece of the puzzle God used, without it she would not have been able to be instrumental in an important event in history. Being attractive is a gift that can be used to help others and bring attention to situations that others need to be aware of. As you do use it to help others that is where the joy and fulfillment come from not from being attractive. But caution and wisdom should be used because some people take advantage of those who are beautiful, they are used like a commodity rather than a person to promote causes.

Also as you age beauty changes into other forms other than youthful beauty; you still attract others and it beautifulgives one favor with them. But realizing the use of the attention and favor is the important factor not the beauty; otherwise the grief and sorrow from the loss of youthful beauty can prove to be devastating to someone. Especially, if they believe their attractiveness is all they have to make them of value. We are more than a label of beautiful. God will transition you through the stages of life. He will never leave or forsake you.

 Hebrews 13:5 

Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]
When you have joined your life with Christ and you are a member of the Kingdom of God, He knows why He created you exactly the way He did. As you spend time with Him, He will give you a head’s up on how to handle the gift and responsibility of being attractive. And if you do feel awkward, He will coach you through it, so you won’t have to try to hide it with weight or a distasteful attitude which many use trying to protect themselves from those who want to take advantage of them or the fear of that possibility.
I was a nondescript chubby child but during middle school one of the things I wanted most happened. One of my childhood classmates wrote in my yearbook-To the ugly duckling who turned into a swan, But it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I was not prepared for the attention I did get because it was from all sources desirable and undesirable. I wasn’t able to discern how to use this gift and no one in my family was inclined to mentor me in handling this new found gift. So over a period of time I learned with God’s help how to manage it. I am still learning. I know from discussions with other women I am not alone.
I know now that every gift is given with a purpose and  in time and with seeking God, He will unfold the plan. The trick is for us not jump the gun when things don’t happen fast enough because when I have jumped the gun and used my own reasoning things got very complicated, but when I waited on God and asked for wisdom and discernment, He liberally gave it.
If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. (AMP)
Then things work out, even the ones that appear to not be for my good- see Roman 8:28!
So we can rely and trust in God to help us to handle the gifts we are given, even when they are the greatest; they will require wisdom because even the good ones can make life very confusing and complicated!









Mary Ellen Wessels – Beauty




See Yourself Through My Eyes

I coach individuals in an academic setting.

I propose you see yourself as I see you.

 I have a student who is unclear in his communication. He is a naturally outgoing very intelligent person yet he wants to enlighten people with ideas/concepts/ things that they may not know or understand. To him everyday topics are not interesting so he engages conversation with unusual  topics. Most people ignore him or placate him with a nod or ask a polite question.

But if you ask him to define it and explain it he’s patient.  He explains all the details. He understands that  he comes up with things  people don’t understand yet he is driven from within to inform people about interesting things. You can see it in his eyes that he wants to engage and doesn’t get frustrated.

Also he’s made an acquaintance and he’s very protective of this person. The individual doesn’t engage with other people very easily .  You can see his compassion and understanding for this person and he shows support for them. These are huge strength personal strengths and a gifts. They show his character and  personality traits being used with a positive application in his life with others. He needs to focus on these and develop and enhance them. He is problem solving the obstacles that are getting in his way of becoming a person of excellence.

Each person has strengths in character and gifts that make them an individual rather than a part of the crowd. It is how they perceive them, then how they  treat/behave makes them negative or positive character traits and a strength or weakness. It’s all in how you think about it then apply those thoughts in your life.  I strive to define my students and clients in a positive way. I also strive that they learn how to define themselves in this way by their strengths and the positive application of their character traits/gifts to be the best version of themselves.

Meanwhile they also see where they need to grow, mature and develop. They can compensate and delegate areas of challenge. They are not letting areas of challenge keep them from realizing their potential as a person.

When one sees areas in need of work and weakness, solely focusing on them because they think that  they are not okay. If this is you,  if you’re focusing only on your weaknesses! Stop it!

And not everything will be worked out to the best functioning levels and efficiency at once. You need to be patient with yourself and be kind, all the while never giving up.

You are not changing yourself to be something acceptable. You are adding to yourself to be a person of excellence then you problem solve your difficulties as obstacles and mainly focus on developing and enhancing your strengths.

Please see yourself as I see you.

Most of this information is not new, but the great news is you don’t have to do this on your own and with your own strength.

This is how God sees you in your strength, if you ask Him to partner with you. He will back you up because of the sacrifice of Christ as our representative. His presence in us by His Holy Spirit brings out our strengths and gifts meanwhile He works with us in a loving and patient way to lessen the impact of our challenges and weaknesses. He becomes our strength. My coaching is only temporary and limited. His is 24 /7 and limitless.

21 And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.

Isaiah 30:21 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

He is motivated by his love for you.

He has a great plan!