God Will Guard Our Hearts And Minds Against Those Who Judge

How does He do that, God is invisible. He does when we decide to believe in His Power, Goodness, and Wisdom. We then sense His presence. It is a hard task because flesh and blood people can be imposing and forceful especially when you are the one being called out as an outsider not typical in abilities/looks/etc. This is especially hard for the families/ parents of someone who is not typical. You watch the pain and isolation on the face of your loved one. You want to protect them and teach that person a lesson or at least convince them of the merits of accepting each person as an individual not putting people into boxes but looking at each person’s strengths/ weaknesses as opportunities for growth. They mostly do not listen!

There is one catch for God to do what He says He will….We strive for no revenge, ill thoughts, hatred, judgment on our part as much as we can manage ourselves then Christ through the Holy Spirit makes up the difference. It not about perfect behavior, it is about your heart’s intent!  We pray for and bless those who we consider our enemies leaving them in God’s hands to work out the details that we can not control.  It is about casting our cares upon the mighty capable shoulders of Christ who has full authority in our matters when we release them into His care. He will work everything out for our good as we chose faith over our own reasoning of what to do to take care of the situation. The Holy Spirit will direct our words, actions, and even emotions if we allow Him to do so unknowingly hurt or judge those who they don’t understand or chose to not understand for a large number of reasons. He will guard our hearts whose mind is stayed on Him. Yeah God!

This is not easy by any stretch of the imagination! but by my testimony and by many others it is true. As a new creature in Him, we are so much more than what we came into the world with the first time around. As the reborn into the Kingdom of God, we have amazing possibilities. ( see list available as pdf. knowing who I am in Christ- Joyce Meyer)



Accommodations, a Slippery Slope in Education for Those With Disabilities and for Teachers…..

If I haven’t heard this once, heard it a thousand times plus…
Today as I rest my sick body my brain doesn’t stop and a thought came to me. Accommodations, It’s a different perspective and human nature that make something so complicated that seems so logical and reasonable to some of us but not to others.

Accommodations seem to be exceptions that require reciprocal responses when you don’t needs them. When you need them they are your normal way of working which does not require a favor.

I will say many things out loud that others think about and in the trenches of teaching those with disabilities we are not making a lot of headway or progress because the day to day process are based on an ideal setting, a trained and willing staff that is not overwhelmed with the great many other things that are asked of them. This is special educators and regular educators. There are limited resources and unchallenged preconceived notions that make progress like pushing a Cadillac up a steep hill.

So what is the solution…unfortunately there is one way to solve this issue but maybe our perspective changing can help. The change being oiled by understanding, compassion, knowledge. I know that is what has helped me. Coming in to education with guns blazing to be someone to convince and change my sphere of influence to be one that is a well oiled special education setting, to win over the hearts to be a school that serve each child to meet their needs teachers eagerly seeking my knowledge and experience to fill in their gaps of experience and knowledge. I’m a nice, compassionate, team player! Well that got me through the first five years ending in cynicism and burnout.

I saw the magnitude of burden laid on my shoulders and those of the  regular education teachers shoulders was great. Parents going through a gambit of emotions- cycle of grief- most times not knowing what to do and what to expect from their child and the school/ teachers.

I know I am setting up a pretty grim picture… but we live in a broken world where there are no direct paths for teaching and seeing progress in students who learn, think, speak, write, move, see, hear atypically. That’s why they have an Individualized Education Program but people are still intent on having them fit the mold because it  makes it easier for them to understand.

Once we leave the standardized comparison of students’ performance, it’s a whole new ball game and how do we grade that on a report card?

This may sound like some spiritual cop out but it isn’t…

I know from personal experience God has an individual plan for each of our lives from my experience as a person with learning disabilities that far reached anything that a school could have come up with. I prayed even as a young kid for God to help me because I knew I was different from my peers and they knew it too. The fallacy of not wanting to label your child is not valid. Pretty much an alert person knows when they are an atypical person in their environment. I think it’s the uncomfortable part of not knowing in which way they are atypical and what  to expect.

He has always been faithful to me but He didn’t not take my differences away which I wish He would have many times over. But He has told me He has set me apart for a good purpose and an life to be lived as an individual. I did OK in K-12 grades not great because of the overwhelming experience of it academically and socially. And you have to know my disabilities were not defined for me until I was 26 years old in community college which I did very well in college because I had more control.

At that point, I had a whole load of baggage concerning my self-images that He is helping me still unpack and put nicely back into my soul according to my identity based on His opinion of me and the way He sees me20170406_221001.jpg.

Which brings me to the spiritual aspect of accommodations, seeing people as God sees them as someone with strengths, gifts, and talents not focusing on their lack or differences. Asking God to lead and guide us in this seeing of the person to see what His plan for them is because He knows exactly who they are, what they needs and where their future will take them.

So I have come back to a place where in my job and the lives of my own children into the hands of God asking for His hands to be the director and follow His lead. He knows and all my training can not make it work out ideally as everyone would like, including myself. He knows best and I rely and trust in Him completely! As I rest in Him and partner with Him my burden is significantly lifted and burn out is stayed off.

This is not to be a popular way of developing an educational plan for students in public schools but it takes the person, their family putting it into God’s hands wherever they attend school-public, christian, or home-school. Christ is big enough, strong enough to take the lead wherever that person goes. When we put Him in control by asking for help, the battle becomes His. He will lead and guide through His Holy Spirit in your or your child’s, your student’s education that equips them for their purpose and life.



Finding Peace instead Of Grief…..

Some of us have had a job reviews/ observations/ interviews and others have had presentations or had to get up in front of people to perform where there was a super sense of stress because what you did could make or break you! Now imagine having that feeling everyday of your life! That is the equivalence of having a learning/ working difference and when there is a lack of understanding, acceptance and you are constantly being judged and criticized on your demeanor, work habits, work outcomes, process that you use to work. And the worse part of it, most times individuals see nothing wrong with their actions towards you, in fact many times they feel justified in their actions which makes it so much worse when you advocate for yourself because they don’t recognize you as valid.  They see you as a troublemaker, someone defying their authority or someone who is trying to get out of work, Wuff!  

These thoughts and feelings are genuine I know because20170831_155133.jpg I have had them. You are reading this because of one of three reasons- you have a processing disorder/suspect something like it is going on, you have someone in your life that has a processing disorder, you happened upon this blog- read it and it sounds crazy.

If you have a processing disorder or ADD/ADHD,  you experienced a cold sweat and know exactly what I am talking about, or you have watched someone go through this experience and felt helpless or wanted to over-dominant them to take the experience away because they took to long, you were angry, confused, or in pain watching them go through it. Lastly, if this is new you have had an ah-ha moment into the lives of people you have met in you life. All of this information is valuable and important.  It. It will be pieces of a puzzle to help you find peace.

You need to know yourself or the person very well to know what is a strength and weakness.  You need to determine where the trigger area for self-defeating emotions and thoughts. You need to know who your brain works, on good days and bad days. You really need to know the creator who designed you with a plan for good not evil in mind whether it meets others ideas is another thing. You need to know He has your back, He has prepared a path, and He is walking along side of you willing to lead and guide you giving you what you need and at the right time on His timeline not ours. Roman 11 tells us that God depth of knowledge, riches, and wisdom are beyond our own! In  chapter 12 it tells us we are not to be conformed to the this world but be transformed an renewal of our minds by the new ideals and new attitude so we will prove for ourselves what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect in His sight for you!

He asks us time and time again through out His word to trust and rely on Him, not to worry or have anxiety for God loves us and has mean all things to work out for our good as we do just that. Again it may not be when or how we would work things out but it is the perfect will of God in an imperfect world. This sounds like a short answer to a long problem, but we have to chose to think He is doing the work. We are trusting, following, and obeying the Holy Spirit’s prompting which mean you have learned and practiced how to do that. That may be the learning curve here. Engaging in a personal relationship with Christ in order to gain what we need each day to be who He created us to be. He is faithful, loving and trust worthy!


Anger- What Shall I do With You?

As a Christian I continued  to see the lack of concern and compassion for outliers although many recognize the needs but they don’t develop ownership of reaching out to the outliers. Much like those in the story of the good Samaritan who walked by because of variety of reasons who also did not they don’t develop ownership of reaching out to someone in obvious need.  When faced with the choice of getting involved there is the thought someone else will certainly take care of this!

People don’t respond well to anger to create change. It only in20170206_055224.jpgcites and gathers others around you that are angry as well.  I recently found less obvious forms of anger in my life that need to change to grace, mercy, forgiveness, hope and faith.

I had allowed myself to become motivated to action by this behavior where as I needed to concentrate on being the one who did not walk by and had compassion and used his own resources and time to help the vulnerable person in need. I need to let God handle the situation and provide as I release the injustices into His hands. Why should I do this when it is harder than swinging into action to make a difference.

This is a tall order and I will need the Holy Spirit to make these changes and transform.

In Colossians 3:8 We are to put away and rid ourselves of all of these things- anger, rage, bad feelings toward others, curses from our lips! 11 We put on a new spiritual self, being renewed and remolded into a new image of Him who created it.  12 We are His chosen on , who are purified and  holy and well beloved by God Himself by putting on behavior marked by patience, long suffering with power to endure whatever comes, with good temper. 15 letting peace which comes from Christ rule in our heart to be our umpire deciding and settling all questions that arise in our minds. Being thankful, giving praise to God always.

Next an action plan to help guide that transformation! Then we can see some real progress in dealing with this situation that instigates the emotion of anger…


As of late I have been shown my life in a self-reflective mirror that has revealed one of my greatest causes of a loss of hope and peace-Anger. I have had this constant companion in my life for a variety of reasons. Most of these stem from a lack of justice and those in the position who did not take ownership and do something about people who were marginalized- in my case someone who didn’t measure up to other’s ideal. The anger shows itself in different forms. And in some cases very justified in its expression. It had become part of my identity to which has not served me well.

Some of the more obvious forms I thought I had tackled and removed. Be angry and sin not…  My rational was Jesus became angry at injustice and expressed that to right a wrong so I kept some of my anger to push me, to drive me for a greater good but it didn’t create good, only division. The anger unchecked turns into something unhealthy.

I had made a vow to change things to help others to not experience the same damages I had experienced but it was not happening but I did find myself preaching to a choir of people that felt the same.  I now realize there is something that I can not change- people to become compassionate and do the right thing but I do know someone who can!

…..to be continued


Trust in God, in Self, and in Others- Tricky Business For Outliers

I believe this may be my most important blog!

Trust has always been one of the most challenging things for me. I think I understand why.

I was reading a book by Joyce Meyer, Get Your Hopes Up!, and in my mind raised the ugly head of doubt. I said to myself, hum, why? God has done so much for me and I truly believe and trust Him with everything and my life.

I read this section and the thought came to me- let me tell you what it was.

Trusting God, not yourself

As a child and a young person I questioned God why I struggled, in fact I trusted God and others more than myself. I saw my performance and abilities compared to others- not by my parents- but by others in school and other situations that kept telling me over and over again not to trust myself. In church I was suppose to memorize scripture  to please God and be a good christian, something that continues to be difficult for me. In school, not keeping up in math and not knowing right from left- feeling set apart and different. It always was so subtle because I have processing issues that are not visible and also being intelligent it always looked like it was a lack of effort on my part, not reaching my potential. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that. I could pay off my student loan and perhaps my mortgage! I had been conditioned to believe others knew better than me and simultaneously being told of course you can do it, just believe you can! Crazy!  I have been set up.

But God has done an amazing work in my life because I did trust and believe in Him. But always with this conflicting trust issues with others and how I looked to them. And in fact I still use many compensation strategies and techniques that do rely on others to use my abilities and strengths that God has given to me. But there is a shift now!

Truth is- God made me to trust Him in my weaknesses, to rely on Him first no matter what my issues are /were. He knows best! And no matter what people believe, judge, think of me it really doesn’t matter as much as I have been conditioned to think. I need to concentrate on being a person of excellence- doing my best and leaving the rest up to God. I am  not an island- no better, no worse than others. I can follow a life’s plan designed by my heavenly father that is one where I can enjoy life and feel my purpose is fulfilled without comparing myself with others.  He does send people into my life to partner with me to do the parts of my tasks that are difficult for me but I am to rely on God first, not them. And  I am loved, cherished and well thought of in my areas of strength. I can Trust myself because I Trust Him first and lead by the Holy Spirit.

I know God is no respecter of persons so if He has done this for me, He will do the same for you! His greatest gift is that He loves us and wants us to enjoy our lives, relationships, and love ourselves!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

A great song to go with this is by Nelson Hawk, Live Like You’re Loved!

When Rejected By Others There Is One True Thing…

As adopted children of God we have something that no rejection can diminish or take away that ensures our satisfaction of this life.

20160620_210914I have been reading a book and Bible study by Lysa TerKeurst,Uninvited, Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out , and Lonely, that was a loving gift from a dear friend.

Lately God has been letting experiences come into my life that remind me of the feelings of being on the outskirts of life even though I am fully involved with people who love me and support me. But in two areas those feelings have been challenged in major ways. One is my marriage which is now over and two is actually root of it all. My feelings of being not approved of and/ or accepted. These are  being challenged by my loving God.

Who is telling me something just the opposite, I am approved of, accepted and even celebrated over by Him, my heavenly Father.

Yes, we have all had experiences were we have been invisible, forgotten, dismissed, or flat out pushed out. Some of us more than others. I had loving parents, my physical needs were always met. I can say I never had an overtly abusive event happen to me but I perceived many of my life’s events as ones that placed an idea placed in my head that I was not enough. Where did it come from- I have an idea and we normally imagine a red being with horns and a pitchfork.

I had a gut feeling something was different about me and possibly wrong most of my life because I wasn’t like other people. I would see things differently. We all know how well that goes over with the human race, they get uncomfortable then try figure it out what is different then try to change it to fit into a mold of others.

Now I know I have been set apart for a reason to be different and God knew it all along but I didn’t know how to access that information. I had to go with what I had around me. Being raised in a Christian home was a great start but I was so distracted by my circumstances the words, God loves you, sounded more like a question than the answer.

God has led me to different resources to help me learn what He asks us to do by casting our cares on Him and He will keep our hearts in peace. He offers security and a sense of belonging no matter the circumstances.

He is more than enough connecting me ad you if you ask, to God the Father enabling us with His power through the Holy Spirit who now resides within our spirit. We believe it and accept then listen and follow His instructions. This is our part. Choosing to know that we are as Lysa TerKeurst so beautifully said it, living loved, knowing the fullness of God is more than enough to fill us up so there is no place in our spirit to accept the feelings of rejection as the truth and part of our identity. We may have those events in our lives to suggest that is who we are but our part is to turn down that opportunity and identify ourselves with who God says we are- set apart and fully loved by Him. He will give us our sense of security and love. What we get from this world in the way of relationships and our work responsibilities are a bonus. And when it goes south which many times it may. We do not, because we know we are covered.

What resources you say- I want those too!  Here the part of God’s good plan, Ephesians 2:10 that is individualized for each of us. We seek Him, read His words, praying first for Him to lead and guide us to what we need. He will- He also will! never leave us or abandon us! I have listed some scriptures that are a great starting place. When I read I keep something handy to take notes and except to connect!

Ephesians 1:4-5, 2:10, 3:14-19; Hebrews 13:5; Galatians 5; Psalms 23; Matthew 7:9-12, 11:29; Isaiah 61

A great song to listen to is -Matthew West, Mended.

Next Our response to those who reject us, especially injusticely, to protect us and our peace…..